Chinese Waiter

We can take a trip to China
But we will not the cross sea
There's always a Chinatown where
Chinese people tend be
Our cultures are so different
At least that's how it seems
But it took a Chinese waiter to remind me of one thing

Chinese waiter, we are all the same
Chinese waiter, we love chicken chow mein
Chinese waiter, bring us more jasmine tea
Chinese waiter, 'cause love's all we need

Chubby Buddhas laughing
At the cat clocks on the wall
So many paper lanterns the size of basketballs
I wish that you could be here
Bear witness to the sight
I meet this Chinese waiter full of wisdom and light

Chinese waiter, when you come around
Chinese waiter, best service in town
Chinese waiter, bring us another round
China waiter, make Confucius proud

Ain't no takeout spot with the bulletproof glass
This be straight family dining, high class, you know
So, why you wanna order General Tso's?
It's all the same and everyone knows
No matter where you go, any ghetto Chinese shop
You can find that slop, if you wanna plop down the cash
I recommend the lamp chop with black pepper and lemon grass

Chinese waiter, South Central, L.A.
Chinese waiter, San Francisco Bay
Chinese waiter, bright lights on Broadway
Chinese waiter, your local Chinese buffet

And for my favorite dish
Chinese waiter gets fresh fish
Puts a gun between its lips
Pulls the trigger, but it ain't dead
Tries to run, but don't get far
Bleeds all over the bar
But Chinese waiter, he just laughs, and hits it with a shotgun blast

Chinese waiter