For the Record

For the record, this is self-destructive
For the record, I'm aware of that
For the record, I've been picturing her body
Draped over the sofa wearing nothing but her hat
For the record
I'm screwed

For the record, this can still go my way
For the record, I can keep my pride
All I have to do is keep us focused on the questions
Each one of her responses will remind me how she lied

That's the answer
That's what I'll do
I'll use the 36, 36, 36, 36 questions
As a lifeline

And of course I have sympathy
For the pathological liar who did this to me
And yes, I admit
I wish I could touch her

But the questions will make one thing clear
There's nothing left of my old life to spare
No matter how much I may...

Ta-da!
What's up?
What do you think?
About what?
My jersey, go SeaWolves!
Yeah, huh, go SeaWolves, anyway

I was just, uh, setting the table here
Oh
I don't know why I did that, that's weird
It makes perfect sense to me
It's kinda like a weird first date
Which is why we really ought to have more booze

I have whiskey, but, um, did you, did you want wine?
Do you have wine?
Yeah
The glass shattered on the chiller
Last night but I think the reds are okay
I'll just, uh, yeah, I'll get 'em
I'll be right back
Stay with Judith, Henry

Hey, Henry
I can't imagine all the horrible stuff you've heard about me
Well, it's all true
You don't seem like the kind of duck who holds a grudge
You're not a whiskey drinker, are you?
No, you keep your wits about you
I like that

For the record, I did not expect this
I really thought that it would be a harder sell
I came up with this plan at 4 a.m. on Interstate 10
How was I to know that it would work so well?
For the record

I haven't thought a lot about the way I'll answer
I guess I'm still afraid that I might lie
If only I could make him see, if I was given the choice
Of telling him the truth or sticking knives into my eyes
I'd pick the knives
But I'll survive

I'll treat the 36, 36, 36, 36 questions
As a passtime
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
Just like last time

And maybe it's wrong to say
But his defense and distance will not sway
Me from believing this is possible
If he didn't love me anymore
Then why the hell did he open the front door?
I think it's a sign that he–

Hey
What's up?
There's a good chance that this wine is terrible
I– I'd settle for drinkable
I make no promises, oh, you lit candles
Yeah, I thought it would help set the mood
What's "the mood"?
Hopeful?

Just like our first date
When we sat on your carpet
Drank two bottles of wine
This is different
Two years have gone by
My whole life was a lie

But there's something that feels so familiar
We've been here before
Staring at each other
Suddenly caring for each other
Moving on to
Question two

"Would you like to be famous? In what way?"

We're asking 36, 36, 36, 36 questions
To each other
Tonight's 36 reasons why you and I cannot be
Healthy for each other
We're asking 36, 36, 36, 36 questions tonight

36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the second time
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time

36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time

36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time
36, 36, 36, 36
This will be the last thing