The Campfire Song

Come on, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow
Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire?
Is the food here really that bad?
Offering to the gods, It's not enough that they're omnipotent and all-powerful
They need to feel appreciated
To the gods! (To the gods!)

Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe

My dad is Hermes, He messengers things
You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings
I'd wait by the phone, but the phone never rings
Oh, no
When your dad's a god, life can be tough
I met the guy once, and once was enough (yo, I hear that)
Annabeth?

My mom's Athena, she's smart and she's wise
She's sworn off gluten, and she's sworn off guys
But if she came to camp, it'd be a surprise, oh no (oh no)
Oh, and my stepmom, she hates me, and my dad works all day
So I left Virginia and I ran away
Wait, is that true?

Everybody!
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe

Alright, who's next?

Oh! Okay, let me see
My mom's Demeter, Goddess of grain
She gets excited when it starts to rain
But planting and planting and planting's a pain
Oh, no (oh no)
Right? For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car
I got a fern in some dumb mason jar (ha-ha-ha-ha)

Ooh, ooh! My turn!
I'm a child of Pan, God of the wild
For those who love nature, they're often beguiled
He's not really my dad, but I'm sort of his child, oh no (oh no)
He went for a hike to explore new frontiers
And no one has seen him for thousands of years

Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe

Chiron! Who's your dad?

Oh, well
My father is Kronos, remember my lecture
He ate his children
Chiron wins (yeah, he wins) he's definitely the worst
How about you, Silena?

The goddess of love, my mom's Aphrodite
She tries to be cool, but mainly she's flighty
I'll bring home a boy, and she's there in her nightie (oh no)
It's so embarrassing, guys!
I tried to seek help from even the fates
'Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates

Alright, Percy, it's your turn (yeah c'mon Percy)
If I tried to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche
Oh, we're all friends here, come on, give it a shot
Ok, ahem

My mom was named Sally, she loved scary movies
And food that was blue and- (he's doing it wrong)
(Yeah, who's your godly parent?) Oh, I don't know
It's alright, a lot of half-bloods never know their godly parent, just give it a try

So my dad is some god that's great, I guess
Did he not want me? Or not want the stress?
Too bad he's the worst, and my life is a mess, oh no
I hope he shows even a trace
'Cause I got some choice words to throw in his face!

Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
But I don't care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me
We don't care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me
As long as you are here with me!