I Can Do Without You

In the summer, you're the winter
In the finger, you're the splinter
In the banquet, you're the stew
Say, I can do without you

In the garden, you're the gopher
In the Levi's, you're the loafer
Like an overturned canoe
Well, I can do without you

You can go to Philadelphia
Take a hack to Hackensack. Hey!
I'll never ring a bell fer ya
Or yell fer ya to come back

In the question, you're the why
In the ointment, you're the fly
Though I know some things are indispensable
Like a buck or two
If there's one thing I can do without
I can do without you

In the barrel, you're a pickle
In the gold mine, you're a nickel
You're the tack inside my shoe
Yeah, I can do without you

In my bosom, you're a dagger
You're a mangy carpetbagger
In the theater, you're the "Boo!"
I can do without you

Ya got charms that ain't bewitchin' me
You've a face no one would paint
I got the darnedest itch in me
To be wherever ya ain't

In the bullfrog, you're the croak
In the forest, poison oak
Though I know some things are necessary
My half-pint buckaroo
If there's one thing I can do without
I can do without

You're a nut
You're a faker
You're a bonehead
You're a trouble-maker
I can do without you