Call a Marine

I was sitting in a bar, boozing and losing
Some jack off walks up cruising for a bruising
Popping off and making my old re' neck red
He asked my girl if she'd like to dance
He had three buddies, so I had no chance
I looked around the room for a friend
And I saw Fred

A quick evaluation of the situation
We entered into a conversation
That seemed to last, the better part of the next two songs
Now I didn't say and they didn't ask but
Fred did two tours over in Iraq
And son, it was over before it was even on

Call a Marine instead of 911
They're built to improvise, adapt, and overcome
When you're in knee-deep and your up shit's creek
You've tried everything
Tell you what you do
Call a Marine

Now my sister's husband didn't love her no more
And he runned off with a skinny little whore
And left her sitting round the house with a couple of kids
She just lays around in that mumu gown
Old girl put on about thirty-five pounds

And one day I went over to her house
And I said, "Hey sis, if you wanna fix what troubles you
Just ease down the VFW
And you'll walk through the door and turn those boys heads
For most of those boys, it's been a while
Just show a little leg and that Marlboro smile
And if that don't work out for ya girl, ask for Fred"

Call a Marine instead of 911
They're built to improvise, adapt, and overcome
If you're in knee-deep and your up shits creek
You've tried everything
Tell you what you do
Call a Marine

Some douchebag rises up and overthrows his government
Diplomacy ain't working and ammos all been spent
The world is in a crisis and the media a curse
I'll tell you what to do when it goes from bad to worse

Call a Marine instead of 911
They're built to improvise, adapt, and overcome
When you're in knee-deep and your up shits creek
You've tried everything
Tell you what you do
Call a Marine

Tell you what to do baby
You can call
Call a marine
Yeah, yeah