I'm Sorry

Go ahead and call me a coward
Say that I'm not strong because I'm not like you
Go ahead and call me crazy
'Cause I live in a maze, tell me, how about you?
I think I live in my head
Sometimes I think that I'm dead, I hide behind my youth
Know I been losing my mind
And I'm a little behind, step inside my shoes

'Cause I've never been happy with myself
And I don't need no one feeling bad for me
Tryna to offer me pity and throw jabs at me
Wanna give me advice and then laugh at me
Behind closed doors, just close the door
Let me be by myself, just me and myself
I'm tired of living, I cry
I hear it's easy to die, I wanna see for myself
And I know that sounds crazy to everyone else

But I'm depressed, stressed
Ain't no medicine that could cure what's the test as drugs
I mean, I need extra love
And that ain't even enough, said that ain't even enough
And where the f- is God?
(Damn) maybe I ain't believing enough
But today, we gonna see if he's real
And if He is, then I guess I'm prolly going to Hell

Look, I ain't wanna die like this
I ain't picture my life like this
They don't know what it's like, like this
Pretending I'm happy, so I can smile like this, and laugh like you
Sometimes I wonder if I ever act like you
Could I finally fit in and maybe relax like who?
Or would you feel lost without me?
'Cause honestly, I think the world is better off without me

And my mind's spinning, this is the line finish
Truth is, I don't care how they feel about my feelings
I made up my mind, I'm going out like Robin Williams
I guess I'm not the Ordinary People of John Legend
And I've been suicidal since the day I was nine
Okay, the day I was nine
I've been tired of being bullied, couldn't stay out the fire
Grandma told me I should take it one day at a time
And damn it, look at me now

Pen runnin' out (f- this sh-), ugh
Look, just know it's a new day
But if you reading this, then it's prolly too late, blaow!

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry
But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry
But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry
But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry
But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I hope you got what you wanted
I hope you finally happy, it's too late for you
Been going out of my mind
You don't know how many times that I done prayed for you
I hope you hear me, godda-
'Cause I got so much sh- that I wanna say to you
I used to shine, now I'm all in the dark
I remember I used to tell you to follow your heart
But godda-, look at you now, it's all of your fault
How could you?

Maybe it's my fault
I shoulda paid more attention to what you been doin'
Maybe I should have been more of an influence
I can't believe that you're dead, I f-

I read your letter and all I could do is have mixed feelings about it
But I'll forever be attached to you (damn)
Part of me feels bad for you
A part of me feels like you weak, and I'm mad at you
And I don't mean to be insensitive
But I don't understand how we couldn't prevent this sh-
You took the easy way out, godda-, you did
I mean, look what you did, I'm so f-in' upset

How could you be so selfish?
How could you be so selfish?
Now you're gone, you done left me so helpless
I wonder what God thinks, I hope you in God's place behaving yourself

Yo, what the f- you gotta say for yourself?
Look, I really feel lost without you
I hate the fact you think the world is better off without you
And my mind's spinning, this is the line finish
Truth is, I don't care how you feel about my feelings
And I'd be lying to you if I told you I'm fine, listen
I know that you can hear me, all I need is like five minutes

I just wanna reach inside the casket and pull you out
I'm sorry, this is something that we both couldn't figure out
I wish I could hear you now, is your soul missing?
I wonder if you could do it again, would you do it different?
Tell me what death is like
Was it meant for you, brodie? Did the heaven support it?
Are you f-kin' happy now? Did you get what you wanted?
Isn't this what you wanted? I feel the temperature falling
And you've been suicidal back then you were nine

Yeah, even back then, you was nine
We was living on the edge, couldn't stay out the fire
Grandma told us we should take it one day at a time
And damn it, look at you now
But it's a new day
And if you can't hear me, it's prolly too late

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry
But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry
But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry
But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry
But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry
But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry
But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry
But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry
But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me