As Seen on TV

Episode one, our eyes meet for the first time
You mutter a wise crack
Five minutes later, we feel a connection
Accompanied by the laugh track
You played it brilliantly
Just the way it was written to be

A few weeks in, we are better developed
People love the characters we play
They're intrigued by our ongoing tension
And hang on to each word we say
They cheered when we shared our first kiss
Now every scene gets cut when we're on the precipice

And in the silent rain
And in the soundstage thunder
Was I ever enough for you?
Well, I often wonder
But there are no lines to rehearse
No award winning pretending
No "after these commercial breaks"
Or cliffhanger endings
As seen on TV

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah, oh yeah

Somewhere the storyline got twisted
Plots thickened, ratings can't be persisted
Yet we resisted
Yeah, we insisted

A few years on, we're jumping the shark
And getting poorly reviewed
Now there's some midsummer replacement
With no chance of being renewed
I guess all things must run their course
Like every soft soap opera tabloid divorce

And in the silent rain
And in the soundstage thunder
Was I ever enough for you?
Well, I often wonder
But there are no lines to rehearse
No award winning pretending
No "after these commercial breaks"
Or cliffhanger endings
As seen on TV

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah, oh yeah

Now it's all quiet on the set
No more standing ovations
Not filmed live in front a studio audience
But please don't change the station