Pre-Caf

I was up the night before
Eating tater tots at four
Now I'm sticky in the mouth
While I'm working out my core

Think my solar-plexus tor
And my ACL is sore
Gotta get espresso fix
Before headed to the store

Cuz I'm achy and anxious
BISQUIK PAN-FLIPS
Damn this morning I feel viscous, bandwith
Strong, blaring songs, watching women dance in thongs
Push my eggs around with tongs
Make a sandwich

Got a water bottle but
Still my sinuses aflame
Like a child with a wrench is banging breakbeats in my brain
I'm in pain shaking quarters out my piggy bank in vain
I just want a cup of joe
Avocado on levain

PRE CAF DE CAF
BREAK YOUR LEGS AND KNEECAPS
PALMS ON THE COUNTER CUZ I'M IN A COFFEE RELAPSE
EVAC THE PREMISES
SHADES AND MY LETTERMAN
ONE ESPRESSO QUICK, PLEASE I NEED THAT

I'm in line, light shines, like
Right into my eyes
And I'm licking on my teeth tryna see if I'm alive
And two guys at the counter take their GODDAMNED TIME
They ask "Hey man, how you doin?"
"Yeah I'm fine."

Barista says "The usual?"
I nod and say "The usual"
Girl talking to her dog like she's fucking Dr. Doolittle
Guy to my left writing poems in his moleskine
Guy to my right says "I'm a huge fan of Tolkein"

Please, need my espresso shot
Thirty minutes left to not
Think or stand or watch you reread Nelson's Argonauts.
Harp a lot on nonsense, throbbing head is constant
Handing me my drink and I'm gone, bitch

Yo
Haven't woken up still
I mean bro
Super broke and still real
I've been so
Uber focused, you've noticed
I don't give you tokens for pro-tips, so chill

I'm not a tea drinker so
Take back your loose leaf
Take back your oolong
I find it confusing

Take back your "Good night's sleep"
Cuz I do things
Taste test junkies all drooling

I'm a coffee-a-holic, honest, got hoppers in my closet
And I'm loaded up with free-drink cards to get me through apocalypse
Hockin' up my loogies on your shoesies and boots
News to you, your brews are bootsy and your booty is too

Who is MC Hammer to an MC Reverse?
What the fuck is in your planner if not frozen desserts?
I heard it hurts when you get shirked
My Connor Miller the first
So buy him lattes and coffee when he gets surly and terse

I'm worse than OJ the juice
After brushing your teeth
I'm worse than meaning to press enter
But then pressing delete
I'm worse than stepping on Legos or letting go of your Eggos
No waffle toppings for Connor means I'ma topple your credo, LEGGO