The Unspeaking

On a hill, this is no dream
Much as I would wish it so
Much as I would wish the earth itself
To bloom in black, to overflow
And is Heaven coughing blood?

Or is this just rain that burns my cheeks?
'Cause I swear I've not been crying
I've been crying here for weeks
And all my days will just be numbers
Despite my losing count
These tears are oxygen and hydrogen
In changeless and ordained amounts

'Cause the answer was yes or no
There were only two ways to go
Still, I lost the moment to transgress
When I answered no or yes

I will make this very clear
I will do this only once
I am gazing at your holiness
I am standing still and facing front
So I've come back to repent
And I've come back to reclaim

Some infinitude of silence
The unspeaking of my name
Will you grow this hill to mountains?
Will the mountains fall to space?
And each degree of every circle
Paint a forest on my face?

There were never words for yes or no
Through the Earth above, through the Earth below
And no borderland to repossess
When I answered no or
Yesterday-break-down-cast-straight-forward
Plate-glass-eye-land-scape
Ex-tra-men-dis-figure-head-strong
Hold-over-driven-inferno
No-no-no-no-no