If I Ever Get a Job Again

If I ever get a job again,
I will never be a snob again;
I'll live within my means,
Carry a dollar in my jeans,
If I ever get a job again.

If I ever get a break again,
Brother, what I'll do to stake again;
No turning out the light,
Bidding my appetite good night,
If I ever get a break again.

I'll get two rooms and a kitchenette,
Furnished comfortably,
With two rooms and a kitchenette;
I'll get a sweet somebody to move in with me.

If I ever get a job again,
I know that two hearts'll throb again;
She told me with her eyes,
We'll be rehearsing lullabyes,
If I ever get a job again.

If I ever get a job again,
I will never be a snob again;
I'm through with stocks and bonds,
I'd rather spend it all on blondes,
If I ever get a job again.

If I ever get my pay again,
I'll save it for a rainy day again,
But let me tell you, bud,
I'm gonna save up for a flood,
If I ever get my pay again.

I'll get two suits and an overcoat,
Like a millionaire,
Just two suits and an overcoat;
And then when things get better,
I'll buy underwear!

If I ever get a job again,
With my old friends I'll hobnob again;
What great fun it will be,
Saying, "Just have one more on me,"
If I ever get a job again.