The Great Joe Bob (a Regional Tragedy)

He was a pan handle prince
School boy football king
I told him hi in the halls
'Cause he could run them balls
But it was rumored down deep he was mean

He dated high tone girls
With frosty pom pom curls
But he never gave out his ring
He was the best of the best
He met the gridiron test
An there ain't nothing
As American and clean

He was the pride of the backfield
Ah, the hero of his day
Yeah, he carried the ball for the red and blue
They won District Triple-A
And his name made all the papers
As the best they'd ever had
Yeah, so nobody understood it
When the great Joe Bob went bad

He first lost his scholarship
To Texas Tech
For drinking during training
And breaking the coach's neck

Then he got suspended
Ah, for acting obscene
Around the cum laudy, cum laudy
The Daughter of the Dean
So took up with a waitress named Loose Ruby Cole
While she was a hopping tables
Down at the hi D ho

And he met her on the sly
When her daddy weren't around
Ah, but he stopped making yardage
When he started messing around

He was the pride of the backfield
Ah, the hero of his day
Yeah, he carried the ball for the red and blue
They won District Triple-A
And his name made all the papers
As the best they'd ever had
Yeah, so nobody understood it
When the Great Joe Bob went bad

Yeah, it spread like a country wildfire
That something big had gone all strange
Joe Bob the greatest halfback
Was acting half deranged
He'd been seen out with this woman
Getting drunk and having fun
Yeah, he growned his hair, then give up prayer
"To the Football days is done"

Then he and old Loose Ruby
Robbed a Pinkie's Liquor Store
And had a run in with the law
When they's running out the door
And Joe Bob's fate was sealed
For the next century
Yeah, he traded in the pig skin
For the penitentiary

He was the pride of the backfield
Ah, the hero of his day
Yeah, he carried the ball for the red and blue
But Helen carried it all the way
And his name made all the papers
As the best they'd ever had
Yeah, so nobody understood it, nobody comprehended
When the great Joe Bob went bad