C.A.

This place is beautiful, I don't know how to get back home.
It's far enough away and fair enough
for me to throw the odds into the wind.
And everything that meant anything before
Meant nothing when the sun rose over green-capped hills,
but you don't feel the sun anymore.
This place is difficult, you know it's tearing you and I to shreds.
We've come an awfully long way just
to shut our eyes and wait for low tide.
Skipping beats, measures and stones.
If I wanted to feel like I was cast away,
I would have stayed back home in Chicago.
Where at least I know that my
friends and my home are just a train away.
This place will burn.
Because cast aways set fire to the beaches to learn.
I've seen the west and the deserts where the oceans had been.
Your heartbeat, so crass and unapologetic.
Your hands, so dry and cold.
But waking up to the trash and smokestacks
doesn't make me feel so sad about the river anymore.
You know, the sun don't rise just west of here.
I can feel your january breath on my neck and it burns like summer.
If nothing golden stays
and we let it hang and fade
like medals, at least we've placed.
I don't keep the voicemails so I can hear you call me 'baby'.
But it's proof that you once bled redder than you'd like to remember.
If the valves in our hearts are in binary code
while some of them open, others stay closed.
Some doors open when others stay closed.
I'm punching broken numbers into
subway pay-phones 'til you're back home.
We've still got time.
Some days strike you down
I know some nights are spent alone.
When you've been thrown more curves than bones
and you've built more walls than homes.
A broken heart can break your spine sometimes.
Love & Pain are sometimes the same, alright?
We grow old, grow out of touch with ourselves and eachother.
What it takes to be happy, I don't know.
What kind of fool would fall in love
with someone who gave up on themselves?
What it takes to be happy, I don't know.
What it takes to be happy, I don't know.