Josh A feat. Iamjakehill - Better off Dead

Suicidal Thoughts

I'm not suicidal
I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)

Why do I even try?
Why do I even write
Lyrics about how I'm living the life?
When I'm battling pain and my demons at night
Trying to find a new outlet
The devil pounced in
I hear him howling, my vision clouded
Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
Try to be strong when I deal with the pain

Yeah, put a bitch in the coffin
So my family has options
Gonna work 'til I'm dead
So that they get the best
Don't wanna set up a bad example
'Cause kids looking up
Can't leave them in shambles
Can't make them think clocking out is okay
So fuck suicide, I'm here to stay

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light (nah, nah)

I'll be out here running
I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down
Find my way out of this hell now
I'll be running now
I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down
Find my way out of this hell now

I'm not suicidal
I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)

One too many bad thoughts inside me
Got a hole in my heart
Put the past behind me
I'm pressed with time
I'm stressed with life
My breath is ice
I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always
Barely standing
Crawling down the hallways
Sink into my bed
With death inside my head

Yeah, that note you found, I didn't mean it
Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
Never meant to let you down
I've been down and out
Racing thoughts, I had to drown them out, fuck
Never giving in, I swear to God
No matter how many times I prayed to a god I don't believe in
Just to see if I will never wake up, but he called my bluff

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light (nah, nah)

I'll be out here running
I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down
Find my way out of this hell now
I'll be running now
I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down
Find my way out of this hell now

I'm not suicidal
I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)

I'm not suicidal
I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)

Credits
Writer(s): Daniel Hill, Joshua Ashcraft
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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