Kids Get All the Breaks

Life is just one great frustration
When I see all through the nation
Children spoiled by adulation
Why won't someone spoil me too?
How I view with indignation
Doting parents' adoration
Of their childrens' conversation
No one says I'm clever too
It is really most upsetting
To see people always petting
Children who are always getting
In my hair
They're everywhere
It isn't fair

Kids get all the breaks
They never do a thing
But everybody always sings their praises
Kids get all the breaks
Oh! For heaven's sakes
I'd rather they went off to go to blazes
Kids get all the breaks
No matter what they say
They're always told their eloquence amazes
Kids get all the breaks
Oh! The little fakes
With "Pretty please," "Doo-doo," "Goo-goo," and all the silly phrases

Kids lead a life of peace
Grown-ups tremble when they sneeze
I tell you, kids have got me in a stew
Why don't they grow up and fend for themselves
The way we grown-ups have to do?

Kids get all the breaks
They're just a bunch of fakes
Please understand I know what I am saying
Kids get all the breaks
I say they're all mistakes
For which we grown-ups have to keep on paying
And paying
And paying!
The price we grown-ups have to keep on paying!