The Thing

While I was walking down the road
'Twas early Monday morn
I saw a funny-looking thing
A standing in the corn

I went right over and picked it up
And much to my surprise
Oh, I discovered a (tapping sound)
Right before my eyes

Oh, I discovered a (tapping sound)
Right before my eyes

I picked it up and ran right home
And give it to my brother
I thought he'd like to have it
Cause he'd never get another

He took one look and out a yelling
You know what happened then
Oh, he ran away from the (bell sound)
And never came home again

Oh, he ran away from the (bell sound)
And never came home again

Pick the thing on the guitar now.

I went right out and ran to town
As fast as I could go
I wrapped it up so I could mail it
To a girl I know

But when the postman saw me
He chased me out the door
Oh, I never could mail the (knocking sound)
Cause it's against the law

I never could mail the (knocking sound)
Cause it's against the law

I wondered all around the town
Until I chanced to meet
A friend of mine, the constable
A walking down the street

But this is what he hollered at me
When I told him my tale
Oh, get out of here with that (honking sound)
Or I'll throw you in jail

Oh, get out of here with that (honking sound)
Or I'll throw you in jail

Pick the thing on the piano now.

I didn't know just what to do
I didn't know what to say
So I give it to the feller
Who planned to marry me one day

But this is what he told me
As soon as he saw the thing
Man: I won't marry you with that (panting sound)
So give me back my ring

He wouldn't marry me with that (panting sound)
So I gave him back his ring

The moral of this story is
If you're out on Monday morn
And you should see a funny-looking thing
A standing in the corn

Don't ever stop and pick it up
That's my advice to you
Cause you'll never get rid of a (tapping sound)
No matter what you do

Cause you'll never get rid of a (bell sound, knocking sound, honking sound, tapping sound)
No matter what you do