Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,
I feel like we don't converse as often
Even though I find myself at the instant where time holds it breath
And the universe comes to this single moment
When u-n-i verse, my internal composition becomes your roller coaster
Where at every unexpected drop
My thoughts fall and their wings
Become twisted in your helixes of emotions
That choke up the passageway of this tunnel of expression

But you wouldn't know about this mental regression
Instead of releasing sweet flutters of butterfly wings
I open up a void of blackened feathers
Of crows that only caw at my confusion
This is an illusion that poisons the mind
To initiate its demise that sprouted from your seed
That I had not known to exist but its roots persist
Digging deep into the rage, consuming the sanity I kept so well
Oh dear anxiety
I've never expected you to disguise
Yourself as the silence of the night
And creep into the crevices of my chambers
And taint the pedestal of my goals with empty canvases
The colours of my dreams lost sight of their destination
Yet my eyelids never shut through this incarceration
I've been robbed from the escapes present in the conscious state
My thoughts are teased with the ecstasy of freedom – but wait
I'm just a mime actually trapped in a glass box
Cornered, panicking, tapping, searching, screaming, just stop!

Just stop it
Just stop, let go,
I hold my head and rock back and forth from this mental brace
Begging to escape,
Begging for a way to rip these shackles off my mind, just wait
I'll rip these cuffs off one ring at a
Time and find, I'll find a way, I'll find it
I'll find a way 'cause this mental state is depleting
My intuition's having trouble breathing
I'm having trouble seeing what it is
My spirits need and when you're around
There's no communication between my root and crown
No elephants, no roots to hold the unsaid
They roam free, yea
No walls to keep the lies up on the outside
No, they room free, free and untamed
Free range, open target, free slaves fresh from the market
Marx has lost profit, you swallow me, yet I'm left starving
Starving for my higher self, starving for my higher self
Let me breathe so I can let my spirit roam free
These cycles have become -
I said, these cycles have become -
These cycles have become -
They become, they become -

These cycles have become way too frequent
As the expectations of my success have
Dropped enough coins in this mindless washing machine
Just so my thoughts can never get dirty and distracted
Welcome to my realm of depression and anxiety
Where I try to build a mountain of joy through this poetry
I can't seem to voice the silence that grabs a hold of me
Instead I carve a volcano spewing out that burning fury
Maybe I need some melodies to pry apart the fingers clutching my heart
And soothe it with the knowledge that my chest is its home
And there is no need to beat a way out
Maybe I need some fresh air to whisper in my ears
That it had heard the sweet lullabies of
Others in the darkness who are just like me
That this is a battle where I'm not alone
Because when anxiety stares back at you in the mirror
There is no telling what demons you will
Have to fight to keep sane in this war within
So breathe in
And remember that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train