My Apologies

I remember the days we would go to your house to contemplate on what to do
We would walk to the city or go in your backyard and swim in your pool
Taking photographic memories, of whatever looked blameless or witty
Doing so many stupid things in public, just so you'd know how much I was idiotic

But all of that is in the past, I'm sad knowing that I can't bring it back
Stuck here living with fear and misery, I'll never bring back my confidence or bravery

I'm really sorry for what I did, and I know that you won't forgive
I just wish you weren't afraid, cos you will not see me in the same way
I wish we were still friends, from here until the end
But it is all up to you, the choice is yours to choose

I remember the times we would stay up all night and just complain about life
Talking about depression and anxiety, every time I said to you that it would be ok
Thinking about all the times that we shared, I was just hoping I wouldn't fall in love to care
But I moved on from that many years ago, the only thing that hurts is that you were a friend I let go

It doesn't matter if you have lied about me, I just wish you knew how I am feeling
Why is it that you won't believe me? You ignore all my statements and all my apologies
My mistake's regretful, unintentional, demeaning. I just don't know what else you want from me
Say something now, my dumb life has to end. I'll never know if I'll call you my friend again

You won the war and won the fight. Your life's more important than mine
No matter what I say, they'll take your side. It's hard to keep you out of my mind
No one will help me when days are rough, anyone's love and friendship is just not enough
Ending my life would be the only way to make it up to you, all I'm saying is that this is true