Video Game Legends, Vol. 2

Good guys are overrated, man!
I mean look at this out-of-work plumber
Who spends less time saving the girl
Than he does munchin' on mushrooms!
Ha, no surprise there...

You must be trippin' out your mind
If you're gonna mess around with Bowser
The fire-breathing King Koopa
Screw your flower power
Step in his castle, you'll get bashed
Burned, beat and destroyed
I mean, he's the only reason Mario is even employed

I smell some Mortal Kombat goin' down
If you pick a fight with Shao Kahn
Then he's gonna smack you around
With his Wrath Hammer
Now there's a weapon that you should fear
"FINISH HIM!"
That's the last thing that you'll ever hear

No Gods or Kings, only Man
Parasites you better scram
It's Andrew Ryan comin' at ya
When you got no hope he'll give you rapture
A man chooses but a slave obeys
Now Would You Kindly make the choice
To get the fuck out my way?

I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell
I may be bad, but I do it so well
I'm half the reason these games even sell
Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!

"Don't get me started on Sonic
That hedgehog is awful obnoxious"
Ever heard of Doctor Robotnik?
He's the guy you might get along with
It won't be long before he builds a device
That's gonna show you how fast Sonic can run for his life

All hail the world eater, first-born of Akatosh
Gorging on your mortal souls, he's the Nordic Dragon God
Whether you're man or mer, Alduin will feed on you
All the people feeel his Thu'um, Dovahkiin, meet your doom!

Talk about an appetite
The Flood will eat anything in sight!
Good luck finishing the fight
You can say goodbye to organic life!
Survival is the only rule that they play by
That's why you don't go striking up a deal with the Gravemind!

I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell
I may be bad, but I do it so well
I'm half the reason these games even sell
Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!

General Shepherd is the man you gotta work for
But only if you wanna start another world war
Even when you think you've got a true friend...
*Gun Cocks*
All you are is one less loose end

Yo, Ex-Special Forces legend turned mercenary
He made a nation dedicated to the military
A hero led astray, Big Boss is his name
PLOT TWIST! Solid Snake, you're biologically the same!

Gather your magic and grab your Master Sword
Whenever you're heading to battle with Ganondorf
The Triforce has the power that this Dark Lord needs
And once he gets his hands on it
There's no stopping the beast

I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell
I may be bad, but I do it so well
I'm half the reason these games even sell
Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!

It ain't cake that this baddie wants to feed to you
Just open up your Aperture and then you'll see the truth
GLaDOS, one of the baddest girls I've ever seen
Her humanity is dead, all that's left is the machine

Oh no, Professor Hojo, you don't know, just what you've made
Project Jenova's gonna show you how to Fall from Grace
It's the One-Winged Angel you just went to war with
Sephiroth is a god who you oughtta worship!

Clean-cut, calm, composed, and creepily cryptic
One look at him and you know the G-Man means business
The inter-dimensional molder of time
Smell the ashes, Mr. Freeman?
"Rise and Shine"

I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell
I may be bad, but I do it so well
I'm half the reason these games even sell
Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!