The Shaman of Drinking: Origins

First time i had a drink, i was sitting in your bedroom
Made an appointment to follow up later that week
First time i got drunk, i was sitting in the back room with my boss
He said "You look a little down, can I offer you some happy happy?"

And then the shaman was born,
He knew how to take away the pain
Just like his father before him,
He knew he would die alone some day

Hey, hey
Hey, hey

And then things started picking up,
He was wild and free
Fell asleep next to beer cans,
And a futon that was never made for sleeping on

And no one really cared, 'cause he minded his own
The life of the party, hiding alone
In his bedroom, on his knees
Praying to a god that he never believed in
That the people that he loved would one day love him
And praying to a god that he used to believe in
That the people that he loved would make it to heaven
And Praying to a god that he never believed in
That the people that he loved would one day love him
And praying to a god that he used to believe in
That the people that he loved would make it to heaven without him

And then the shaman was born,
He knew how to take away the pain
Just like his father before him,
He knew he would die alone one day

Hey, hey
Hey, hey

(I miss those times a lot though, a lot more than I should)

And you lean over and you say
"I'm the cooler girlfriend and i know it"
But all the sudden i'm back in eleventh grade
And its the Physics Class field trip to Six Flags
And everything's stretched in so many layers of irony,
I don't know whether to be like really upset about it
Or actually just, like, laugh
But i don't know cause you're wearing a black tank top
And we're both really sweaty
And we don't wanna go on the roller coasters
And i'm just so afraid
And i wanna go home!
I just want to go home!

And then the shaman was born
He knew how to take away the pain,
Just like his father before him,
He knew he would die alone one day

Hey, hey