The L Word

I always put my brain before my heart
Ever since I was little they knew me for being smart
Always think before I act and I never let down my guard
Cause fuck knows what happened the last time I fell hard

I'm not the person people come to for love advice
I'm troubled too when I think about this stuff at night
The bottom line is that part of my mind is stunted
My avoidant attachment's the problem that I've confronted

Growing up across the Pacific Ocean
I never noticed my parents rarely expressed their emotions
The notion of being open was lost to me
My thought processing shot like a frontal lobotomy

Honestly it never bothered me as much as it should've
Non-honesty modeled me as much as it could've
And while it's true that my lexicon is my claim to fame
There's only one more word I'm afraid to say
And

It's the L word
Show me how to be true to it
It's the L word
I don't know cause I'm new to it
It's the L word
I don't know what to do with it
The thought of someone loving me is honestly ludicrous

It's the L word
Show me how to be true to it
It's the L word
I don't know cause I'm new to it
It's the L word
I don't know what to do with it
But if you give me time maybe I could be cool with it

I sound awkward but trust me nothing is wrong
I'm probably blushing while I'm doing this song
Cause when you're spending your time fronting and tryna be strong
It gets easy to bluff that you're not kinda withdrawn

I'm finding it hard to admit how I feel about your company
We started casual and it happened pretty suddenly
Utterly and deathly afraid of catching feelings
I stubbornly dedicated to my act of concealing

I tried to rationalize my attraction
Holding myself back to minimize my attachment
Dramatically overanalyzing our interactions
Imagining our affinity as just a transaction

But then, in a rush of endorphins and oxytocin
You looked at me and you asked, "are you scared of emotions"?
I said, "Yeah, very much so" I really hoped that you wouldn't notice
My eyes flying wide open and then you said

The L word
Show me how to be true to it
It's the L word
I don't know cause I'm new to it
It's the L word
I don't know what to do with it
The thought of someone loving me is honestly ludicrous

It's the L word
Show me how to be true to it
It's the L word
I don't know cause I'm new to it
It's the L word
I don't know what to do with it
But if you give me time maybe I could be cool with it

I like it when you tell me that you miss me
I like it when you smile and when you kiss me
I gotta say I think about you when you're not around
But I'm embarrassed to admit it, like it's not allowed

I miss you after not seeing you for a couple days
I guess my feelings are stronger than what my words convey
But hey, I express it in a certain way
I'll write it in a song, and maybe then it'll be my turn to say

The L word
Show me how to be true to it
It's the L word
I don't know cause I'm new to it
It's the L word
I don't know what to do with it
The thought of someone loving me is honestly ludicrous

It's the L word
Show me how to be true to it
It's the L word
I don't know cause I'm new to it
It's the L word
I don't know what to do with it
But if you give me time maybe I could be cool with it

It's Love