Alleviating

i walk around with unvarying paces every night
perpetually end up in my room unknowingly, covered in perspiration
fan's spinning, clock's ticking
and i'm still pondering and mulling over a person
who loves to draw and dream and read and alter someone's life

"are you real?
are you even real?
are you real to me?
is there any other reasoning to prove that you are truly real?"

the fact that i always think of all the things that i don't have to
might be the reason why my hands always
tremble and i don't know how to quell it
so talk to me for one day i'll be dead
and lie to me as if one day i'll only be
some pieces of debris you always pass by

i remembered seeing a cat lying down with no respiration
as i breathed out into the mirror
i found myself knowing that i sense just the same
now you're the only one who can change me into the one of me
but I guess this song can't even make you to care
about anything that i go through

the fact that i always think of there's not
much of a chance for us to just talk and walk
like it's the last light i ever live in may
be the reason why my heart shudders every time
and i'll never know if i can hold it anymore
so embrace me for one day i'll merely be your
dust you always ignore even when you can't sleep

life's fun, it's good
look at the sun, i know i won't be alive for good
but then again, what's the point of laughing?
what's the point of grieving?
if all of this keeps on holding me underwater