Worried

Am I afraid?
They say I look lonely, a permanent face painted on me
Always struggling in my decay (Decay, decay)
So, did I do something wrong?
Or was it all my fault that I've been
put down all my life, and lost all hope?
Don't tell me again how these hardships we face are all for the best
It has to be this way

I woke up from a dream
I'm never where I want to be
When I look in the mirror I'm not proud of what I see
Could never find any comfort in my own skin,
standing on this ledge with all my selfish intentions

I'm so sick of feeling my heart beat (my heart beat)
Contentment comes with a sacrifice I'm not willing to make
Cause there's this part of me that hates to feel me smiling
Am I too far gone
With all the self-doubt, I'm just so worried
I'm just so worried (I'm worried)

Are you listening to my words?
Am I wasting air? (Am I wasting air?)
It's not as simple as you made it out to be
I panic and panic, poor melancholy me
I'm only an image of what I want to be
So why did I grow up to hate what I see?
Just know now if I could somehow,
I'd trade it all, trade it all (I'd trade it all)

I'm so sick of feeling my heart beat (my heart beat)
Contentment comes with a sacrifice I'm not willing to make
Cause there's this part of me that hates to feel me smiling
Am I too far gone
With all the self-doubt, I'm just so worried
I'm just so worried (I'm worried)

Because everyday it's all so routine,
to live with all the things I fucking hate about me
I've been numb for so long, I'd be better off gone
So scared to die, but it's all I really want
And do you feel the shame in these words that ring true?
"You never did all the things you really wanted to do."
Regret every choice I've made up to this point,
it's never been an option. I can't do anything right
It's useless to ask what this life is all for,
if we found out the answers, we'd still want more

I just wish I had something to live for
I just wish I had something to live