Songs About Your Girlfriend (Live at Islington Assembly Hall)

"This song is about your girlfriend.
It's called: 'Songs About Your Girlfriend.'"

Ooo-hooo
You do not like us 'cause
Your girlfriend likely does
And all your friends agree
On her soft-spot for me
I'll have my hard hands over her soft spots soon, you will see
And if you want a list of all her favourite bits
The next time I am free
Quite comprehensively
I will scrawl them all down for you as an apology
Tell her the times we shared that broke have been repaired
Cinders of our old jokes have once again been stoked
But with a different girl, funnier now they've been rehearsed

All night hung on your every word
'Til we were interrupted by the birds singing
"Oh, your mask is slipping"
"Oh, your mask is slipping"

Songs I've written about your girlfriend
Are just psalms of spite since it came to an end
'Cause I never made her smile like that
And she never made me smile right back
Although I always made her purr like a cat
She said I never made her smile like that

She stubbed her home club's crest on me with cigarettes
A swift that matched the bird upon her football shirt
She would lift the hem, she would wear that thing like a skirt
The last time I was there, she let me wear her clothes
She painted my lips red so that we both ensured
I kiss her every inch, my god, the girl looked like she'd burned

All night hung on your every word
'Til we were interrupted by the birds singing
"Oh, your mask is slipping"
"Oh, your mask is slipping"

Songs I've written about your girlfriend
Are just psalms of spite since it came to an end
All these songs I've written about your girlfriend
Are just killing time while my heart is on the mend
'Cause I never made her smile like that
And she never made me smile right back
Although I always made her purr like a cat
She said I never made her smile like that

"I know you guys get excited when the glockenspiel comes to the front.
You think, 'It's gonna be a-'
'It's gonna be an old song.' Yeah.
But this is not like the old days
All your- all the pets you had when this band formed are now dead.
We're all uglier and a couple of us substantially fatter than we were back then.
All the football teams you supported seven years ago haven't won a trophy in that long a time.
And what's worse is that each and every one of you is gonna die alone."