Ptsd

Death in these streets reside in a trap
But I'm deaf to the beef, and I'm blind to the fact
That I'm losing all the homies that I grew up with
Either dead or in jail, if they flew legit
Would we have a chance? To see 21
But instead we do our dirt we shooting plenty guns
It's a cycle and I wish that I could break it all
I'm with the homies and I really start to hate it all
Liquor and Lean, I'm masking the pain
I'm popping the pills so I won't feel em again
I see all the dead homies when I close my eyes
Never resting and they wonder why I'm sleep deprived
I keep it inside, nobody understand
Mind racing so to cope I'll probably pop a Xan
PTSD, and Survivor's Guilt
Blood racing from the blood that a nigga spilt
Pain in my eyes, blood on the street
My mind racing, got PTSD
I cope with the pain with whatever drug
If they asking me what's wrong I'm giving them shrug
Pain in my eyes, blood on the street
My mind racing, got PTSD
I cope with the pain with whatever drug
If they asking me what's wrong I'm giving them shrug
I'm coming back home to my fam now
Left at 18 but feeling like the man now
Look at my son, and he looking like a man child
I'm in the states wondering what is the plan now
I have nightmares so I'm keeping a gun
Shot somebody who was younger than my oldest son
Wake up in cold sweats, now my wife is worried
Used to be clear I ain't never seen life as blurry
Feeling they out to get me, cause I'm knowing intel
Wish I fully understood what the job entails
So I'm drowning my sorrows, so I don't hear the bullets
When I close my eyes, all I see is when I just had to pull it
I lost so many homies there in the battlefield
I seen the bad of a war what it had revealed
It's pain in my soul, blood on the street
Got survivor's guilt, and PTSD

Pain in my eyes, blood on the street
My mind racing, got PTSD
I cope with the pain with whatever drug
If they asking me what's wrong I'm giving them shrug
Pain in my eyes, blood on the street
My mind racing, got PTSD
I cope with the pain with whatever drug
If they asking me what's wrong I'm giving them shrug
Cop pulling me over hope ain't it graphic watch
Fear of me losing my life from a traffic stop
Knowing that he gon get off free I'm salty
Now I feeling my body be overcome with palsy
Alton Sterling, Philando Castile
Feel I'm living in a world that ain't half real
Freddie Gray, Tamir Rice
That ain't regular names man that's real life
I should never fear the ones that's protecting us
The crazy part is, it seems that they ain't letting up
Since I'm feeling it won't get better with this pen itself
I gotta ask for all of our police's mental health
And all this money that we spent on our army
Should be spent to make sure they don't need to harm me
Pain in my eyes, blood on the street
Not a threat but you blame it on PTSD
Pain in my eyes, blood on the street
My mind racing, got PTSD
I cope with the pain with whatever drug
If they asking me what's wrong I'm giving them shrug
Pain in my eyes, blood on the street
My mind racing, got PTSD
I cope with the pain with whatever drug
If they asking me what's wrong I'm giving them shrug