Despondency

These shadows grow faster than I can tell
Dismissed fears contort as misfigured dreams

If I can never know, how can I change them?
Close my eyes, countdown, and pretend it's all fine

How can they not understand
They won't stop till they reprimand
I'm just alone in their eyes
But it's different in my mind

Only myself is left to betray
Though shadows have followed from my grave
Warm and kind touch turns to cold restraints
Broken walls won't protect when they see right through you

Confess, why do you stare through me?
Maybe it's the padded walls they see?
Someone please say this isn't right

These shadows that are all of my dread
Don't tell me that they're all in my head
Outside and blurred our scholar eyes pry
As a shattered man screams a lie

How can they never see
All the specters that are haunting me
I'm just alone in their eyes
But it's different in my mind

You can't pass judgment on how my life is spent
With no hope of regress, ignorance
Controls all of the mistreatments

I feel the white fog start to grip my throat
Strapped down, the needle, it starts to reload
Again the phantoms pull me back into their hold

Dark shadows in the night
Ask for me, there is no flight
My fight has all but left, I fear
Me, the envoy, a blinded seer

I will fight, cry, beg, and plead
Hoping they'll see what I see
This unfit stage of tattered souls
Takes root, and I start to lose hold

Soft voices tell me to hush
And slowly I can feel the rush
A dark sleep comes from within
As needles work into the skin