Gargantua and Pantagruel by Rabelais

Gargantua in Paris put cathedral bells on his horse
And more of this discourse
11months in his Mother's womb
She was eating tripe and drinking wine
Gargantua grew and grew learning Latin by candle light
The Lord of Suckfist and Pantagruel sang these songs to whoever would listen

Shattard Squirtard Crackhead Turdous
The bung has flung some dung on us
Filthard Stinkard the Lord of Suckfist
The bung has flung some dung on us

There is no need of wiping one's tail, said Gargantua, Gargantua
When it is foul, then we must drink before we wipe
Said Gargantua Gargantua
Now, I prithee, go on in this wipe-fumitory discourse
And by my beard I swear, by the good Breton wine
From the country of Verona to the hills of Texarkana
Afterwards I wiped my bum with nutria in pantyhose
After wards I wiped by bum with a cormorant and a lawyer's sack
With a pouch, with a pannier, that was a wicked and fulfilling and
Then with a hat, yes, a hat
Of hats, please note that some are shorn others shaggy
Some covered with taffeta, and others velvet or satin
The best of all these is the shaggy shaggy hat, for it makes a neat pattern of the fecal matter
Shattard Squirtard Crackheads Turdous
The bung has flung some dung on us
Filthard stinkard the lord of Suckfist
The bung has flung some dung on us
Afterwards I wiped my tail with pigeon's tongue and a lawyer's sack
Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen with a cock with an armadillo
But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of
There is none in the world compares to the neck of a goose
The neck of a goose, if you hold her head betwixt your legs
And believe me on my honor, you will feel in your nockhole
A pleasure that passeth understanding
Communicated to the bum-gut
Even to the regions of the heart and brain said, Gargantua, Gargantua