I'm Growing a Beard Downstairs for Christmas
When I was a girl
Just a little girl
I couldn't wait 'til I became a woman
And I could grow a thatch of curls
A deep dark forest to keep me warm in this cold world
And days became weeks
weeks became months
months turned to years
and it was like magic
it grew and grew
the greatest bush
that the kingdom ever knew
but at the turn of the millenium
a fever gripped the land
it was decreed that all the women
look like little girls again
but now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
When I was a boy
Just a little boy
I was embarrassed by my body's changes
but then one day at the local pool
I saw a life guard with hair growing out of his anus
I was so impressed
it looked like Tom Selleck's chest
he was so proud as he towlled it down
I couldn't wait to cultivate
my very own hairy bum gown
but at the turn of the millenium
spandex gripped the land
every back sack and crack was attacked with wax
now I'm growing it back
a gift for you to unwrap
now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
We'll keep each other warm at night
with our jingle bell hairy stalactites
We'll watch each other grow and grow
I'll stick to you
I'll stick to you
like velcro
now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick
now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
Just a little girl
I couldn't wait 'til I became a woman
And I could grow a thatch of curls
A deep dark forest to keep me warm in this cold world
And days became weeks
weeks became months
months turned to years
and it was like magic
it grew and grew
the greatest bush
that the kingdom ever knew
but at the turn of the millenium
a fever gripped the land
it was decreed that all the women
look like little girls again
but now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
When I was a boy
Just a little boy
I was embarrassed by my body's changes
but then one day at the local pool
I saw a life guard with hair growing out of his anus
I was so impressed
it looked like Tom Selleck's chest
he was so proud as he towlled it down
I couldn't wait to cultivate
my very own hairy bum gown
but at the turn of the millenium
spandex gripped the land
every back sack and crack was attacked with wax
now I'm growing it back
a gift for you to unwrap
now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
We'll keep each other warm at night
with our jingle bell hairy stalactites
We'll watch each other grow and grow
I'll stick to you
I'll stick to you
like velcro
now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick
now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing a downstairs beard for you
I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I'm growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
Credits
Writer(s): Louis Schoorl, Kate Melinda Miller-heidke, Keir Francis Nuttall
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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