Bear Facts

So, I heard you want the facts
The bare bone facts on me and my bros
(Yes, your scientific taxon?)

Well, you're in luck today, friend
We'll tell you what you need to know
How bears are the number one
Animal from head to toe

A thousand abs (a thousand abs)
A thousand and one (a thousand and one)
I can dunk a million basketballs (what?)
My jump could touch the sun

Uh, yeah, about that
Don't mean to hurt your pride, look
But bears just can't jump
It says so in the guidebook

Well, we're talented in other ways
I can play the drums and bears are the best at video gamеs
How? You don't have thumbs
(Aw, dang, he's right)

Well, I can't spеak for grizzlies, but pandas, we got style
Yeah, whiling away our time while all the ladies dial
Yeah, never-ending hearts and likes on all my latest posts
Extremely cool and popular though I don't mean to boast

Well, funny you should mention
Your prowess with the ladies
Uh, pandas have some issues
There aren't enough babies?

Um, forget it, pandas
We've got artistic genius
Well, I'm a scientist, not a critic
But, Frankly, have you seen this?

OK, what? Do you have a verse now?

Ice bears are the
Coolest
Strongest
Best bear

That's actually accurate
But I take issue with the rest

What's true is true, what's fact is fact
No need to embellish on the traits that you lack
You three are bears, top of the food chain
As perfect as the setting sun, as natural as rain

So, see yourself as I see you
Three perfect beings through and through
With quirks and flaws and lice, it's true
Just doing what bears do, ooh, bears!