Forgive Me

What a Saturday night
I got dressed up all nice
For the second time
Hoping that you would see it

I am wearing thigh highs
There's glitter all 'round my eyes
But it's like, a subtle fun thing
It's not too much at all

But you don't even notice
That I am here
I hate that you're so flaky
I hate that you don't care

You told me to come over
But I've barely seen you at all tonight
I guess you're mad or something
That I accepted your invite

I am sorry
For being here
When you just wanna get high
And forget about your fears
I apologize
That I thought that you might care
Or I that put in effort
Cause I want something sincere

So forgive me, that I thought we had a thing
And forgive me for wanting you to fuck me
And forgive me for being at your party
Though you said to come through
Forgive me for wanting you to want me too

Finally, people are leaving
And it's like two am
You're somewhere smoking weed
I just want your attention

Not like, in a bad way
But like, I care about you
I value what you give me
I wanna give something of value to you

But fuck, I can tell that you're fucked up
Too fucked to fuck me, baby
But so were you the first time
It's not that different to me

I stay until 4:30
Hoping you'll change your mind
And decide that you want me
I'm dumb - I do this all the time

I am sorry
For being here
When you just wanna get high
And forget about your fears
Do I serve as a reminder
Of the fact that you're unhappy?
Is that why you cant look at me?
Is that why I'm still here waiting?

And I know, somewhere deep down in my soul
That you do not care about or want me at all
But there's a part of me that just wants to be recognized
Is that a crime
That I want to matter in your life?

But forgive me, that I thought we had a thing
And forgive me that I took it as reciprocity
Forgive me for being at your party
Though you said to come through
Forgive me for wanting you to want me too

(Absolve, Domine
Animas omnium fidelium defunctorum
Ab omni vinculo delictorum)

Forgive me for being kinda mad
And being kinda sad that you canceled our plans
And forgive me for being at your party
Though you said to come through
Forgive me for wanting you to want me too