Third-Of-Life Crisis

Shame on me, what I have become! Shame on me!
It's like I'm floating enclosed
Within inert pocket of time
It's like I do not act at all, I just observe
Even when I try to move
There is no visible motion
I'm just like paralysed fly, caught in web
This is not where I should be
Bound to things not sure I need
Self-pity I keep to feed. Let's see...
I need to matter in what I can say
I want to fit the space I seem to take, no mistakes
I have to be the one to find a way
I want to leave a trace, with my name, or my face
I am quite sure it was me
Allowing myself to slip
Into this stagnant affair of comfort
Prisoner holding the keys
Sharing the face with the jailor
Finding so hard to escape the luxury cell
This is not where I should be
Insulting what I believed
That the world was there for me to seize
It's only my fault that I lost my way
I have to figure out how to get on again
This time not much up my sleeve I'm afraid
But I will fight for every scrap of grace to gain
I'll doubt myself, yes, I will hesitate
But if I didn't try there's no one else to blame
Look at me! Are you sure?
What you feel? Is it real?
Are you awake? Are you live?
Or did you embrace your own lies?
Shame on me, what I have become! Shame on me!
Maybe I'm just going insane
You may want things stay the same
But I simply cannot stay, I can't...
This time not much up my sleeve I'm afraid
But I will fight for every scrap of grace to gain
I'll doubt myself, yes, I will hesitate
But if I didn't try there's no one else to blame
I have to try this, please wish me luck
Even if this means that I'm coming back
For me it's matter of who I am
If you don't feel this you won't understand