Bewitched, Bothered, And Bewildered

After one whole quart of brandy
Like a daisy I'm awake
With no bromo-seltzer handy
I don't even shake

Men are not a new sensation
I've done pretty well I think
But this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink

I'm wild again, beguiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I

Couldn't sleep and wouldn't sleep
When love came and told me I shouldn't sleep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I

Lost my heart, but what of it
He is cold I agree
He can laugh but I love it
Although the laugh's on me

I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And long for the day when I'll cling to him
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I

He's a fool and don't I know it
But a fool can have his charms
I'm in love and don't I show it
Like a babe in arms

Love's the same old sad sensation
Lately I've not slept a wink
Since this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink

I've sinned a lot, I'm mean a lot
But I'm like sweet seventeen a lot
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I

I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I

When he talks, he is seeking
Words to get off his chest
Horizontally speaking, he's at his very best

Vexed again, perplexed again
Thank God, I can be oversexed again
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I

Wise at last, my eyes at last
Are cutting you down to your size at last
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered no more

Burned a lot, but learned a lot
And now you are broke, so you earned a lot
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered no more

Couldn't eat, was dyspeptic
Life was so hard to bear
Now my heart's antiseptic
Since you moved out of there
Romance, finis, your chance, finis
Those ants that invaded my pants, finis
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered no more