Jay Jay

Jay Jay was a fancy conductor that we knew a long time ago
He was a smart man, a fairly young man
He had his talent and he had his poise

Smalltown Jay had always believed that he was Mozart newly reborn
He was a proud man, his own greatest fan
He had his silence and he had his noise

And when he sees you it's like Christmas in the studio
And when he hears you in the concert hall it's the greatest gift of all
(Greatest gift of all)

Jay Jay had a gorgeous fiance and a handsome protege too
They were thick as thieves
Music royalty
They kept their sycophantic company

Jay Jay picked and chose who he wanted from the throngs of dreamers around
If he liked your face
He'd give you a place
He'd take your dreams and then he'd take your sound

And when he sees you it's like Christmas in the studio
And when he hears you in the concert hall it's the greatest gift of all
(Greatest gift of all)

But you know how sometimes Christmas sucks and you hate it?
You can feel them judging you
No one thinks you'll make it
Sorry dear, but not this year

Jay Jay longed for a better position in the showbiz hierarchy
He put his tie on, he brought his baton
He went to wow a famous symphony

But when they saw him it was chaos in the studio
And when they heard him in the concert hall the WORST sound of all
(Worst sound of all!)