The Asshole Card

I'm just sittin' in the yard
Throwin' beer cans at my neighbor's car
I went down to the store
So that I could buy some more

I'm just sittin' in the grass
Throwin' quarters in my neighbor's ass
Could've spent them on a case of beer
But instead I'm sittin' right here

Now me an' my neighbor don't get along
And that's why I'm singin' this song
His dog took a crap in my backyard
Now I'm pullin' out the asshole card

I'm just sittin' in my chair
Lookin' at the birds up in the air
I took a shot with my BB gun
But I missed and hit my neighbor's son

I'm just sittin' on my porch
Lookin' at my neighbor's brand-new Porsche
It was bright and yellow like a duck
Too bad I rammed into it with my truck

Now me an' my neighbor don't get along
And that's why I'm singin' this song
His dog took a crap in my backyard
Now I'm pullin' out the asshole card

I'm just sittin' by the pool
My neighbor's out back actin' like a fool
Screamin' babblin' like a chimpanzee
Surprised his wife ain't left him yet for me

I'm just sittin' in the yard
The movin' crew is workin pretty hard
My neighbor said he's headin' on his way
So I threw one final can to end the day