Comedy Gold - from "Galavant"

JESTER: Comedy is easy once you know the basics,
Starting with the concept of surprise.
KING RICHARD: Ah!
JESTER: Take what folks think—
Give it a wink.
KING RICHARD: Oo!!
JESTER: You try it on now for size—
KING RICHARD: Me?
What's black and white and red all over?
JESTER: I don't know, Sire...
What IS black and white and red all over?
KING RICHARD: Those guys, after I behead them!
Huh, huh?
JESTER: Comedy gold!
I'm tellin' ya,
It's comedy gold!
You're killing it.
If that doesn't slay 'em—
KING RICHARD: I'll murder you cold.
JESTER: Swear to God it's comedy gold.
Well, our work here is done,
so I'll just be—
KING RICHARD: No, we're just getting started.
JESTER: Right.
KING RICHARD: Lesson two?
JESTER: Lesson number two is also fundamental—
Something that we call "the rule of three."
Set up the joke—
Give it a stroke—
Third time and BAM!
KING RICHARD: Yes! Now me!
Three serfs walk into a bar.
The first serf orders a hot grog.
The second serf orders a hot grog.
The third serf orders a hot grog.
But he has no money.
And neither do the other two.
Because they're serfs. Huh?
JESTER: Ah, comedy gold!
KING RICHARD: Yes!
JESTER: I promise you.
It's comedy gold.
Hee-larious!
The crowds will be rolling—
KING RICHARD: Or heads'll be rolled.
JESTER: Not with all this comedy gold.
KING RICHARD: More, gimme more!
JESTER: Props can be a riot—
Ethnic humor, can't deny it—
Or a pratfall, if it's properly applied.
Depending on the viewer,
Take it black—
Or work it bluer—
Or try an observational aside...
KING RICHARD: Have you ever noticed how lepers have pieces falling off of them?
I mean, what's that all about?
JESTER: Comedy gold!
KING RICHARD: Comedy gold!
JESTER/KING RICHARD: I'm telling you!
JESTER: It's comedy gold!
KING RICHARD: Comedy gold!
JESTER/KING RICHARD: No doubt about it!
JESTER: Talent like yours, Sire, it never gets old!
KING RICHARD: And if it does, you'll never get old.
Because you'll be dead when I execute you. Get it?
JESTER: Got it.
KING RICHARD: Good!
JESTER/KING RICHARD: Gonna be killer, gonna be ace!
Folks dyin' of laughter all over the place.
KING RICHARD: And if I get desp'rate?
JESTER: A pie in the face?
KING RICHARD: Yes!
JESTER/KING RICHARD: Telling ya, it's comedy gold!



Credits
Writer(s): Glenn Evan Slater, Alan Irwin Menken
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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