Memoir, Pt. 1

Damn this shit so crazy, can't believe it's like this
I had to up and leave but I can't leave them like this
No, ain't expected the turnout and now I'm like shit
Ain't no need to look back. That ain't what my life is
I did what I did and learned what I learned
All the shit I didn't do probably blessings that done curved, damn
Weed rolled up all the stress that I done burned, damn
Is peace a real thing? I'm really out here on the search
Taking seventy-seven to eighty-five
I done did the shit too many 80 times, damn
Police done took too many 80 lives, damn
Supposed to protect but them some hateful guys, so
I never put on a front to play they side
But whenever we at war you can catch me frontline
This shit can get real all it takes is one time
Get clapped into a casket now you eating mudpies
That's why I work till the sunrise
Keep it tight I ain't slipping never catch me untied but
I start thinking and reality's blurred
My niggas still ain't getting what they deserve and it hurts, damn.

And I ain't tryna feel this pain no more
But I have to wonder am I sure
Now sure I gotta lose my way in all your breath
It's causing me infinite stresses
Lord I pray one day you'll bless me
Help me get up out this mess, please my God

Ohhh, you getting bigger
Assumed the bigger picture
Is you getting like way more
In tuned with your charisma
I fuse all of the realest of dudes
With quickened tempers
And use the way they fixed you
To tombs go you my nigga

Lucifer hit me on the phone today
Finger hovering green, I don't know what to say
Maybe since God ain't pick up, I could go head try my luck
If I'm in hell boy don't that mean that I'm so fire? The fuck
This shit is dire, I pile up my desire
To tie me up to the dyna
Might hit my brother and tell him to light it up
Yet I quit on the reefer my mind it wander to teachers
Who taught me algebra, Englishes, and my effort was meaningless
And these books about history, man my people look powerless
Why the teacher the sourest when I know all the answers?
I got detention, I needed this
While the preacher know Jesuses
But I ain't buy into all that because his skin was too white
Oh, you would die for your hood? I'm guessing you ain't too bright
No not cause dying is stupid or because your lifestyle foolish
Man, what's the option but shine if your whole neighborhood in night
But because look around my nigga they killed you when you moved in
It's fucking gone my nigga
It's fucking gone my nigga

And I ain't tryna feel this pain no more
But I have to wonder am I sure
Now sure I gotta lose my way in all your breath
It's causing me infinite stresses
Lord I pray one day you'll bless me
Help me get up out this mess, please my God

That's it