Wanda

There was a girl called Wanda
A curvy blue eyed blonde who was fond of a very good time
She'd got real frisky and was drinking whisky by the age of nine
Her father said 'depart this house, go fend on your own
Get out of my hair girl and don't you dare come home'

So Wanda went wandering down the avenue
Boys shouting 'hey girl' girls shouting 'shoo'
Wearing her skirt as short as the law would allow
I wonder where Wanda's wandering now

She was quite the looker so she turned hooker down the docks on the lower eastside
She had terrible quarrels and lowered her morals as low as the equinox tide
She wed a one legged sailor and they lived on the skids
He drank all wages and went into rages and beat up the kids

So Wanda went wandering down the avenue
Boys shouting 'hey girl' girls shouting 'shoo'
Wearing her skirt as short as the law would allow
I wonder where Wanda's wandering now

Then she moved to New Jersey joined 'The Sisters of Mercy' and repented the wages of sin
She gave diphtheria to the mother superior when they shared a bottle of gin
They threw her out one cold winter night in the snow and the sleet
But it wouldn't be long before our Wanda was back on her feet

So Wanda went wandering down the avenue
Boys shouting 'hey girl' girls shouting 'shoo'
Wearing her skirt as short as the law would allow
I wonder where Wanda's wandering now

She got married, by a vicar, to a baron with a dodgy ticker he was only ninety three
He left her several million and she moved into the Crillon Hotel, there in Gay Paree
She took a Martiniquean lover by the name of Jean-André
And on a cloud of coke and champagne they danced the years away

Wanda popped her clogs one night at the age of a hundred and twelve
The concierge turned a blind eye for it's not polite to delve
You see they found her hanging by her ankles from a crystal chandelier
Wearing nothing but a bustier and a grin from ear to ear
The moral of this story find your bliss at any cost
All those who are lost may wander, but not all those who wander are lost

Wanda went wandering down the avenue
Boys shouting' hey girl' girls shouting 'shoo'
Wearing her skirt as short as the law would allow
I wander where Wanda's wandering now (repeat twice more)

I wonder where Wanda's wondering
Is she still wild blue yondering
Wonder where Wanda's wondering now