First
My first year
His second year
Last year
I learned my fear was conquering
And this year
His missing year
You dear
Taught me I'm clearly posturing
I don't know how to be honest
Without feeling too exposed
So I've gotten as good at lying
As I am at feeling cold
Still not good at doing what I'm told
The first thing in my head
I woke up and said
"I'd rather be dead"
Today
Just goes to show
Not even my brain knows
How to cope with me
I don't know how to be quiet
Without hiding inside my head
Filling the hole with missing
And the ghosts of what I should have said
I'm just trying to do what I'm told
Oh-oh
Did the sun rise when I was gone
Did mama's tears from heaven carry on
Did the ways I swear I don't belong keep you safe?
Baby did you wake?
To the light of day?
Did you see my face?
Back in first place
His second year
Last year
I learned my fear was conquering
And this year
His missing year
You dear
Taught me I'm clearly posturing
I don't know how to be honest
Without feeling too exposed
So I've gotten as good at lying
As I am at feeling cold
Still not good at doing what I'm told
The first thing in my head
I woke up and said
"I'd rather be dead"
Today
Just goes to show
Not even my brain knows
How to cope with me
I don't know how to be quiet
Without hiding inside my head
Filling the hole with missing
And the ghosts of what I should have said
I'm just trying to do what I'm told
Oh-oh
Did the sun rise when I was gone
Did mama's tears from heaven carry on
Did the ways I swear I don't belong keep you safe?
Baby did you wake?
To the light of day?
Did you see my face?
Back in first place
Credits
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