Just One of the Girls

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage your host, Wicked Pete Malone

Thank you
Thank you, thank you very much, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much
For that warm welcome, I certainly appreciate it
Hello? Good evening, how is everybody doing this evening? Good, good, good?
No need to stand ma'am, oh, better put those back in, yeah, you're gonna need those later

Good evening ladies and gentlemen I am Wicked Pete Malone
I am the owner and sole proprietor of this fine establishment, Wicked Pete's Speak Easy
Alright, I hope you are enjoying yourself this fine evening
Let me just tell you, except we're embarrassed to have you here tonight
While everybody is getting all ossified on giggle water
I hope you are having a great time, and, uh, please, remember to tip your waiters
They are operating only slightly out of the bounds of the law, much appreciate it

But now to show my appreciation before we get in to bring in the new year here
I would like to, ehm, regal you with a song of my own devicing
Uh, so if I could just, uh, if you wouldn't mind, uh, stepping over there Charlie, thank you very much
Now ladies, ladies and gentlemen I'll be, uh, tickling the ivories here
And if I could get a couple of boys here to help me, uh, get Iroy and Rosey up here
They are gonna step in, say hello boys
(Hi, hello)
And uh, now, see, a lot of folks know me as, uh, being, eh, something as a rough customer, but, uh
That doesn't mean that I don't have my soft side

I know I look quite manly
With Brylcreem in my hair
But the urge to be so delicate
Is strong beyond compare

I know that they'll all love me so
In satin bows and curls
They'll say I'm just one of the girls

My women's intuition
Will whisper that I'm cute
When I wear my taffeta
Beneath my swanky suit
Mannish dame or lovely brute
The question is quite moot

I'll hold a frilly parasol
When strolling in the park
I'll need a charming escort
For safety after dark

I'll be the sweetest debutante
In crinoline and pearls
What a vision! I'm just one of the girls
Struggle buggy bunny, just one of the girls
Don't call me a cake eater, I'm one of the girls
Get your hands off my dress, but I'm one of the girls
Help your own celery phone, what do you know? I'm one of the girls

Thank you (boo)
Thank you
Thank you