Fade

Falling down I diminish, I really need a minute
Yeah, I been here too long, try to clear my wrongs, in songs I amend it
Look, breaking down I diminish, I really need a minute
I got this pistol in my hand and I'm aiming at my head
Like nigga just end it man
Fuck this shit, bruh I'm ready to die
At the crossroads wearing black, ready to fly
Rise or fall I don't know but I know where I've been
Alcatraz in my mind, man I'm feeling locked in
Break out, I don't know if I can though
Fade out overturned so I handle
What I receive and believe with my pride interweave
Will I see who I'll be, man there's no guarantee
All these nights full of sweats and this recurring fever
Aching and shaking, it's damn near a seizure
Go to the doctor in hopes of reliever
Just to be told they don't know what's wrong either
Now I'm just pissed cause I ain't making steps
More blood drawn and I'm getting more tests
Kept this a secret, I try not to stress
But I can't hold and it bleeds in my chest
Take a breath, I need to stay alive
Mend all the ties that I feel inside
Set aside my pride how I breathe abides
Man I can't even lie yo, I miss my bride
Yeah we had to let it go cause its killing more
Yeah I know Lord knows what's better for her
Baby girl just leave me, baby just leave me
I know dealing with my crazy ass ain't easy
Step outside and I bask in the night
That's the only time that I ever feel right
Needing more life, more life, more light
Cause I can't afford right, forth night, torn might
Yo is this the world that He gives to me?
Everyday ask the Lord to be healing me
Every night yo I fight they ain't peelin' me
Can't say what's the deal with me
I think I need a minute

So I ask myself, If I mask the health
Will I be so wrong if I blast myself
The plight to be indeed I pass the shell
Knowing its my own fault that I bask in hell
It can change right? Well I don't know
Many trials in denial that I don't show
Even though it's hard and I see regards
Its like the world will applause when I fall to my flaws
So I hate what I'm facin', hate what I'm pacin'
Fate to negate, yo I hate what I'm placin'
In to my heart where the climate's dark
Raging sparks and that's when the violence starts
I wanna see resolve, be evolved
With these demons involve can I bleed them all?
Will I lose myself in the fight of the pain?
All these storms in my mind will I drown in the rain?

Feel my life is changing everywhere I go
Drink away the pain in, I just need to know
Bound here forever
Will I be astounded or drown in the weather?
Will I make it right? Will I lose the fight?
Tell me will I fall down? Will I ever see the light?

If I keep the faith in mind I should just be fine
I proceed to find all that intertwines
How the stars align, stay in crystalline
Moving supine how I breathe my rhyme
I gotta get right in my sight pray to go on
But plight that I fight's hard to hold on
Hard to row on, tend to relive
In the past so I ask can I be sieved
Step outside and bask in the dark
That's the only time that I ever see my heart
Feel the part where I peel apart
Where the zeal departs, is it really art?
I don't know no more swear I need to find
Pray every day for a peace of mind
Feel in my veins how I reach decline
Fade away all I say is I
I think I need a minute

Feel my life is changing
Everywhere I go
Drink away the pain in
Lately I'm fading
Feel my life fading