Sliphead

I spin circles and hop
My brain whirls than stops
What am I even doing here?
This isn't hopscotch
I need something to do so I let my brain decide my truth
And philosophically refute every possible dispute
My mind's locked up and confused and it's impossible to move
I know I should wait, stop, refuse to think these thoughts
But I'm glued to a hotbed of stupid conclusions
Stupid views consumed like fruit that's gotten rotten and dead

The world might as well have ended
According to CNN
Alright we're changing the channel, there's already enough wrong with my head
I can only take so much
You want to stay informed? Tough
Some of us want to enjoy life while we have it
But uh
I guess that doesn't apply to me
I'm dying, whatever
Here's some more edgy drama I'm trying to rewrite to sound clever
If only you knew my pain, my shame, maybe then you wouldn't run your mouth

Alright I'll face it

I might be a basket case in a hand-basket
Racing for hell with a brain bashed and displaced by some lame raps
Played back
When I should've been praying or taking class but I've learned that some facts
Can rip the mind a new
Aaassentially eventually I'll need to come clean
So I should probably bow my head, let the Lord of Hosts lead
And while I'm at it maybe I'll even consider the possibility
Of taking responsibility for what these little eyes have seen
It wasn't all their fault, it was my computer screen
I feel I'll never be clean, but it's so hard to blame me
When half the time I didn't even enjoy what I was looking at
But looking back, if you love someone, you'll put up with a lot of crap
I guess I'm that loyal, I changed porn's diaper
Broke out the baby wipes to make sure it felt right first
I don't have rights, porn's the king of my life
And if it ties me down and barters with me for my birthright
As a son of God I probably wouldn't even think twice
Fair trade for a nice night with Aphrodite, am I right?

Probably not, I'm trying, come on work with me God
I know I've got everything I need except for everything I'm not
I don't know what to believe, shot through with misery
It's so hard to believe you love me when my future's this bleak
Hell forget about me, there's kids who've got it worse than I do
Like five of them have died already from my own high-school
A few suicides and a car crash, poor guy
I actually met that kid, it came as a surprise
Every time someone close to me dies
I try to feel grief, but I guess I'm not afraid to die
Cause when I was only two feet high I realized
I already knew what death is like
Same as going to sleep at night
That's what I believed then, but now I know it's worse
Wish we all just disappeared, while our bodies feed the worms
Turns out we actually get raised to rule a new earth
Well, what can I say?
The truth hurts