False Portal

All the lights are getting dimmer
And I don't feel any thinner
Cause I don't have a DSLR to make me look any better

And my face looks harder now
Than it did 2 years ago
When did I feel so much older
Did I even grow

When I closed one door shut
Why did I think I'd open another
Cause I left everything behind
Except the bond between me and my brothers

Wanna say that I have changed
And I'd hoped it'd be for the better
But I still like angsty music
And I still prefer gray weather

I guess I look better than before
Grew out of keeping it all inside
And moved on to drugs and parties
And the never ending lies

When I closed one door shut
Why did I think I'd open another
Cause I left everything behind
Except the bond between me and my brothers

Now I sit in the same house
That I spent 18 years inside
And it doesn't feel any different
And I still feel like I'm dying

And the cycle never changed
And nothing will ever change