Crushed

So I walk alone to reclaim what both of us had felt
I'm calling out to all anons to help me help myself
When I'm curious

The signals are a mess when I reach out to you, it's sad
I'm wishful in the way that I wish you'd help find my way back
When I wander, I am fearless
I'm still near you, can you hear this?

It's how I can put my hand on your back in our bed and I still feel alone
Sometimes when you're home, I don't think that you're really home

Celebration, am I worth it?
I call out to you with no purpose
I just want you with no reason to deserve it

It's constantly bad
I feel constantly judged
I feel you and I feel crushed

And put on the spot
You do and you don't
Your eyes say both yes and no

I thought you'd respond if my entire self was you
I wake up enraged and throw my phone across the room

Stability, I don't have it
I just struggle with my stresses
And I'm social, contradicting what is normal
How I'm feeling