Dr Seuss vs William Shakespeare

Epic Rap Battles of History
Dr. Seuss
Versus
William Shakespear
Begin!

Come bite my thumb!
I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades
Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that ass, ye bastard
My rhymes are classic
Your crap is drafted by kindergartner high on acid

Ye hoebag
You're an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag and no gonads
Egads its so sad
And to top it off
You're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author
You crook, you
I bet you wrote the Twilight books too

I would not could not on a boat
Read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't want to hear you
And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you

You bore people to death
You leave a classroom
Looking like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age
You gotta translate what you said on the opposite page

How you gonna battle with the Cat In The Hat?
Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
You think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that?
I got a best selling book about me coming back

I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces
Each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
You're pathetically predictable
You think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures

The Bard is in the building
It's a castle, I'm a boss
I bet I'm Parliament
I'm positive I'm killing it
I'm iller than the plague
I never caught or cholera a baller baller
On some cricket bowler business while you're sitting in the bleachers

You rap fast you do
Yes you rap fast it's true
Now let's see how you rap
Versus Things 1 and 2

Oh, No
We'll smash your globe
Yo, you may have wrote the script
But now we running the show

You can take your fancy words
And send'em back home to your mama
Break our foot off in your ass
With our feetie pajamas

Man we'll cook you up and eat you
With some ham and green eggs
Well break offa your legs
Make no mistake
We in a rage

All does not end well when we bust out our cage
You gettin' upstaged Will
Yo, you just got played!

Who won?
Whos Next?
You decide
Epic Rap Battles of History!



Credits
Writer(s): Peter Shukoff, Lloyd Leonard Ahlquist, George Watsky
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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