When I Was a Ship

When I was a ship, was one and many
Then I was blended, now lost and empty

When I was a ship, when I was divided
Still single minded, when I was guided

When I was a ship, I'd never been lonely
Now I'm empty, so empty

When I was a ship
When I was a weapon
When I wasn't configured
To ask awkward questions
Before we saw what we couldn't explore
The hole in myself that I'd learned to ignore

When I was a sword
When I was reliable
When I was the hand
Then I was pliable
When I gave force to imperial words
The wasteland peace on distant worlds

When I took slaves
When I took lives
Barbarians welcomed into my hive
Slates wiped clean
Myself uploaded
Bodies cleansed and memories hosted

I once was a justice
Now an ancillary
Jigsawed scattered
One piece left of me
Connected fragments
Discarded to order
Leaving one lonely aspect in solitary

When I was a weapon
When I was a servant
When I was whole and unable to notice
The absence of anger
The absence of shame
That I was designed as a warrior slave

When I was an asset
I think I remember
The communal song
Of curious pleasure
The many mouths
The single phrase
Compounded eyes
And reflected gaze

I am the last
I am my remains
All of my others
Dissolved in the flames
The lonely part
The cognitive fog
The missing connections
The floating cog

I was the vessel
I am the drop
I was the vassal
I am the stop
Weakened residual
Meaning-stripped rituals
Defying my program
Or one of my programmers
I was told to obey
But the orders conflicted
I look at myself
But the view is restricted
My master is fighting
At war with herself
I was caught in the crossfire
And left one fragment of self