Friend Like Me (Mary Poppins Style)

Best foot forward, spit spot!

Well, your mother's flighty and aloof
Your father's much too busy to be home
But children, you're in luck, 'cause I'm foolproof
With a brand of magic all my own
You have some power in your corner now
And that's a promise that I guarantee
You have my skills, my style, and my know-how
See all you've got to do is stick with me
And I'll say

Oh, Jane and Michael Banks
What will your future be?
Let me teach you, thanks
I've got this down
You have never had a friend like me
Tough love plus wizardry
Yes, that's what I prefer
REFLECTION: She's so good at child psychology
You have never had a friend like her

Yes, well, we pride ourselves on wisdom
I'm the boss
The queen, the best
I walk on air
It's hardly fair
I admit that I've been truly blessed
Life's now a smorgasbord
Of possibility
And here's a clue: I'll help you two
You have never had a friend like me

Can your friends ride clouds?
I don't mean to brag
Can your friends pull this out their carpet bag?
Can your friends speak dog? No?
Well, that's a shame
Can your friends go 'abracadabra' with a snap
And make cleaning up into a game?

So don't just stand there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer your advertisement
You've got a dignified, distinguished guide
A live-in mentor, and I don't pay rent
I've got an urge to make your life sublime
And I won't leave till I have found success
I'm immortal, so I've got some time
I'm like a goddess in a straight-laced dress, and yes

I may come back in Mary Poppins Two (and Three!)
When I'm on screen, it's evergreen
You have never had a friend, never had a friend
You have never had a friend, never had a friend
You have never had a friend like me

I'm your nanny, not your friend, obviously