Context

A certain kind of bind wraps itself around an artist
I cant see if my types of raps will help me get the farthest
I get that I cant split this shit, up into some parts
But for me, I struggle since I been troubled right from the start
Spent so long up in the dark
Penned so many bars
Music was my outlet
Till I got scared of the harsh
Words
Unaware of all the hearts hurt
Ready to bite the hard dirt
Fight it but its all urge
Tie it; and let me fall
If u saw would u call?
For a smart cursed
Child that had had it all turned
Tried to end it in the yard
That shit had left us charred
Momma tried to swallow hurt
Ended with heartburn
When I was younger we would share the laughter
But I got strangled and punched
So much Id only eat my lunch
A couple days thereafter
So I started trying to be a rapper
Or rather, yo
Me, Shaq, and Will
We were kickin' ill flows
It was dope, so I survived on just those
And a couple crackers
So you can tell the type of way I lived
Why Id attack ya
If you ever had ta
Give perspective, or downplay a factor
I was shattered
Battered to no end
Thank god for tom
He told me don't repent
Told me that its in my head
He said it's okay
Words that struck so deep
I say 'em everyday
Yeah Im on the way
To better but I'm hurting
Im never gonna stop in one place
Im on a journey
If I run, legs are burning
But, don't get discouraged
I want to find love
But lust is too on the surface, yo
I wanted money so the past was
Fadin', I was gassed up
Till I hit that bad luck
Waited for the hand of gods plan to help me up
Felt Id been damned, so then I asked the man above
I said lord whatever plans are in store
I need more
I cant have my momma stressed at the store
I was blessed I had a bed
'Least I ain't sleep on the floor
But I could see it in her eyes
She's obsessed with decor
And heaven is for
The homie that I lost as a kid
Dude was drunk, fucked up
Behind the wheel when he'd skid
And at the same time
Nobody was lookin they quit
Payin' attention till the street had turned red and his head split
With his ear on the curb, shits as big as my hand
He was dear but it was clear he couldn't stay on the planet
Not part of the plan and man the things it demanded
Were rough, I was young all I could do was recant it
And my pops, he wants to change the world some day
His dream got boxed and they went ahead and shipped it away
Cause it was not in the budget for the time to jus focus
Had to stay on the grind so that my life wasn't hopeless, yo
Mikey you the realest you been there forever
Momma moved away and step-momma wasn't better
Insane, she ain't even take her meds, but instead the
Way she would rage is on the kids who would tell her to
Take em mom, please
We are jus tryin to help
But she would think she was a queen
So at her feet, they had knelt
17 she was mean, you had got kicked out
Luckily I had had a bunk, so you could crash at my house
It was a couple of days, then a couple of weeks
Then a couple of months, you struggled you couldn't sleep
Melatonin, alcohol, nicotine and some weed
Whatever cocktail that you fuckin' needed to keep
The demons out, but my head got fucked up in the 9th
When this lil shorty hit me said she wants to be mine
I felt young and alive
I wanted jus to be kind
She had a fucked up past
She took it out on my life
So ladies sorry I tried
If I put y'all down
My head was real fucked up
But I love y'all now
Nicky, Anna, Bear, Em, IO the most
Y'all weigh heavy on my heart
Im sorry I went ghost
My heart was jus so cold
Always focused on next
I ain't appreciate the love you sent in some of y'all texts
So now I ain't exactly what rap
Had wanted, that flex
But don't you ever try and judge me
Without the context
Cago