You and Me: A Team Fortress 2 Song

Hold on, sit tight, don't be impulsive!
I can't keep you healthy when you're acting so reckless
I want to fight, why so compulsive?
Charging in is stupid and entirely feckless

Take a moment, I urge you
To consider the facts (boring!)
I can't possibly save you
From thousands of wounds incurred by brazen attacks! (Why not?)

You, me, we're in this together
Can we please be just a bit more clever?
Do you hear me?
Heavy, do you ever use your head?
That guy's gonna end up dead

Calm down, just chill, don't be a baby! (Hey!)
Counterstrikes are pointless when you're not thinking clearly! (What?)
Stay put, stand still, and then, just maybe
You and I will hatch a plan, and make them pay dearly
Heavy just want to crush them! (Uh-huh)
Stomp them into the ground! (Yes, of course, but-)
If we carelessly rush them
I'm sorry to say that we will not be around for long

You, me, we can win this battle
You are puny, I'm as strong as cattle
You will heal me
Heavy use his gattling gun and then (this is not what I meant!)
Enemy will end up dead

There are a few complications
They have a Scout sniffing us out and a Pyro (ah, tiny men)
Their engineer's turret is here on the crest (ah, I eat turrets for breakfast)
They have a spy lurking nearby, plus a sniper (my sandvich)
Their demo-man's armed with the Mann Co's very best!

Okay, you win, let's kick their kiesters
No one shoots at Heavy while he's eating his sandvich
The doc is in, prepare the Uber
I will take the payload, while we have the advantage!
Sure, they may see us coming, but we don't really care
With my Medigun humming
We'll blow them away, so they should say a few prayers because

You, me, baby, we're invincible
And victory is our only principle
We may be wholly unconvincible as well
But nothing can stop us!
It's me, you, hanging by a wire
But we'll get through our own friendly fires
Going pew, pew, shoot and paint their tire color red
Now you're gonna end up dead