Inside of Me

Got a hot head and a cold heart
Can't fill this void my souls parched
Just want what's mine like a loan shark
Let me stick you with the point like a blow dart
I'm fucked up, no hiding that
My nine to five sucks I'd die to rap
Never really smile my minds a trap
Stop looking at the past fuck artifacts
Self medicate face side effects
Hate where I'm at wont try to flex
Don't know how to grow takes time I guess
Find a new mistake every time I reflect
I eject, negativity like a wack CD on repeat out the window
They played me, can you blame me,
Heart shrunk down could fit right through a pinhole
Looking in the mirror but I see a fuckin' stranger
Eyes blood red no sleep what the pain does
Puff weed sipping liquor for a dang buzz
Thought it was a cure but the wounds still drain blood
Running from the pain but my stamina low
Closing out the world causes damage to grow
My life is a land mine planted to blow
And I'm still running through the field like I plan to explode
Took one wrong step now I'm left in fragments
Battling the world and I know I must vanquish
The attraction between a fridge and a magnet
Is the same attraction between me and this anguish
Got to move forward can't get stuck in the flame pit
Looking at a happy picture sadly the frames split
Never practice what I'm preaching positive language
Until the day I'm not breathing Ima fight I just cant quit

Hold it deep inside of me
Destroying what I try to be
Turmoil don't confide in me
Spoiled by anxiety
Want to leave but I stay
Trapped in the night seek day
Trapped in the night seek day
Wanna leave but I stay
Hold it deep inside of me
Destroying what I try to be
Turmoil don't confide in me
Spoiled by anxiety
Want to leave but I stay
Trapped in the night seek day
Trapped in the night seek day
Wanna leave but I stay

I'm, always, thinking of the worst first
Brain got me on tilt seeking new work
In the shadows I imagine demons it's a curse
And they smirk
Worst case barely sees dirt
Bad thoughts row daily but I don't flirt
With death I can feel that energy lurk
Break bonds if I go under thee skirt
Y'all know
Emotions stay flooding my soul
Drowning can't control shit
My heart feels the environment close
Pouring rain it never quits
Making my time completely owned
I don't ever wan to split
I'm storming inside fighting for goals
It's something that I can't miss
I self destruct everyday, I'm never satisfied
Sometimes luck, brings the negatives I crystalize
Gave a fuck, once too much, and now she know the vibes
Really stuck, and now all I do is demonize
So it seems to be, but it seems to me
I just need a key, for my head to ease
Built a lot of steam, that I need to bleed
Rain and angry seas, let me be free

Hold it deep inside of me
Destroying what I try to be
Turmoil don't confide in me
Spoiled by anxiety
Want to leave but I stay
Trapped in the night seek day
Trapped in the night seek day
Wanna leave but I stay
Hold it deep inside of me
Destroying what I try to be
Turmoil don't confide in me
Spoiled by anxiety
Want to leave but I stay
Trapped in the night seek day
Trapped in the night seek day
Wanna leave but I stay



Credits
Writer(s): Joshua Vance Smith, Ryan Mark Nalepa, Benjamin Daniel Kirk, Jonathan Robb Hively, Rob H. Tahan
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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