Broken Boy

I'm hard to love cause it's hard to lose
Now, the hearts a gut and I go nail and tooth
C'est la vous
Never could get rid of you
Never shoulda been with you
But I loved you

Never will I ever tell the truth now that's the truth
Fuck me blue. What's a guy to do?
You're fucking him too. What am I to you?
I'm stuck in the loop
Lie to lie to tell it true
Well la di da I've got some news
I'm letting go of you
Now now now
You're like a broken record when you tell me that
I ain't worth a shit there ain't nobody listening
Are you listening? Are you getting this?
Cause I'll give you this you nearly killed me by the end of it
Woulda been my own trigger fit but you'd a been the catalyst
I'm hoping that you're proud of it
I know that I was counterfeit but you know that I've come out of it cause
I left the beast with you standing in the mouth of it
This is me learning to be free now I hope you like the sound of it

I'm hard to love cause it's hard to lose
Now, the hearts a gut and I go nail and tooth
C'est la vous
Never could get rid of you
Never shoulda been with you
But I loved you

I loved you yeah that's hard to do, hard to lose
Like putting a camel through the eye of a noose
I'm fighting the banal desire to use you as a handle to
Get high on abuse
I'm kind of a douche, I'm kind of a fool
I'm kind of just used to writing my rules
I might be a tyrant with his heart in a fist
Fist in a vice grip gripped at his hip
Take ten paces and pull it on the nearest beautiful bitch
I guess you get what you get
They say that joy is love and love is pain
And when you break the love well then you're left with hate
And what is hate? What is it, Nate?
It's a tender thing that tries to fly on broken wings when the air is thin
It's a violent shame that tries to hide its hope with rage because it's scared of it
I'm scared of this, not prepared for this
I left the ground and now I don't know where it is, please tell me where it is

I'm hard to love cause it's hard to lose
Now, the hearts a gut and I go nail and tooth
C'est la vous
Never could get rid of you
Never shoulda been with you
But I loved you

There's a terror to this weightlessness, something heavy in the way it sits
Didn't know my chest could fit so much emptiness
I always wanted pain for the way it makes the Grace make sense
But never prayed for this
I guess that I was made for this
Why else would I be awake for this?
It's hard to say it's just the way it is
But the way it is is better than the way it was
I know because this pain is such
So real to the touch, more real than the love
Too real to give up so I'm giving up
Yeah I'm living on time to get strong
Everything gained, nothing is lost
Who I am not is who I am not
Who I am now is all that I've got
So I'm waking up
I'm holding this cross like it's holding my blood
Yeah I'm waking up I'm laying my arms down to open them up
Please understand I'm giving in and I'm waking up
I'm giving in and

I'm hard to love cause it's hard to lose
Now, the hearts a gut and I go nail and tooth
C'est la vous
Never could get rid of you
Never shoulda been with you
Never could get rid of you
Never shoulda been with you
But I loved you