Worried

Am I afraid?
They say I look lonely, a permanent face painted on me
Always struggling in my decay
So did I do something wrong?
Or was it all my fault that I've been put down all my life
And lost all hope
Don't tell me again how these hardships we face are all for the best
It has to be this way

I woke up from a dream, but never where I want to be
I look in the mirror, I'm not proud of what I see
Could never find any comfort in my own skin
Standing on this ledge with all my selfish intentions

I'm so sick of feeling my heart beat
Contentment comes with a sacrifice I'm not willing to make
'Cause there's a part of me that hates to feel me smiling
Am I too far gone?
With all the self doubt, I'm just so worried
I'm just so worried
I'm worried

Are you listening to my words?
Am I wasting air? (Am I wasting air?)
It's not as simple as you made it out to be
I panic and panic, poor melancholy me

I'm only an image of what I want to be
So why did I grow up to hate what I see?
Just know now if I could somehow I'd trade it all

'Cause I'm so sick of feeling my heart beat
Contentment comes with a sacrifice I'm not willing to make
'Cause there's a part of me that hates to feel me smiling
Am I too far gone?
With all the self doubt, I'm just so worried
I'm just so worried
I'm worried

Because everyday, it's all so routine
That I live with all the things I fucking hate about me
I've been numb for so long, I'd be better off gone
So scared to die, but that's all I really want
And do you feel the shame in the words that ring true?
"You never did all the things you really wanted to do"
Regret every choice I've made up to this point
It's never been an option, I can't do anything right
It's useless to ask what this life is all for
If we found out the answers, we'd still want more

I just wish I had something to live for
I just wish I had something to live